Going Full circle
by Fordino85
Summary: The story of Neve Amell, based on the events of DA:O non game chapters based on my canon. Dragon age and all characters from the game are owned by Bioware. Rated M for possible mature themes, this is my first attempt at writing so forgive me.
1. Prologue

The wind howled, the rain hammered on the roof, Neve sat in the cupboard, hugging her knees to her chest.  
It had been hours since the shouting and screaming had subsided, but the blood curdling screams of her mother still rang fresh in her ears, the shouts of her father as he watched the hooded figures drag her mother out of the door and into the storm, the scuffling sound of her father being shoved out afterwards, the sound of metal on flesh followed by mumbled speech and finally silence only for the sounds to rise again in memory on a never-ending loop.

She dared not open her eyes, she dared not peer out into the gloom and darkness that was once her home but some thing urged her to be brave, an unknown sense of warmth, she lifted her head and listened, she could hear voices, soft whispers in the darkness, slowly she pushed the door to the cupboard open, just a enough to look into the darkness, to see who the whispers belonged to.

"we have no idea what happened here, you have no proof that this was the work of apostates"

"none the less, you can sense the magic here just as much as i can, you cannot deny it's presence, we cannot leave until we know if it Simply lingers or if the Mage is still here"

She didn't get the feeling that she was in any danger, she opened the door fully to see two men with their backs to her, one, clothed in full length robes, carrying a long staff , the other, clad in heavy armor, a Mage and a Templar.

"come Irving, lets not waste any more time"

"wait"

With that the two men turned.


	2. Chapter 1 - 10 years later

"Neve"

The sound of senior enchanter wynne calling her name jolted Neve back into focus,

"Neve"

"Yes Senior Enchanter"

"it would seem that you've managed to set your paper on fire, very nicely done however you now have nothing to write on"

It had happened a lot recently, in fact every single class with Senior Enchanter Wynne for the last 3 months, Neves desk was positioned next to the window overlooking the Templar training court, she had noticed over the last few months she would find herself absent-mindedly staring into the courtyard as the newest recruits were training, and on several occasions had managed burn or freeze several things, ranging from paper to robes,

"I'm sorry Senior Enchanter i was...distracted"

"yes I've noticed that seems to be happening a lot of late, i think a week of library duties should help with your focus"

Library duties, a week of running around after senior mages fetching this book and that book, returning this book and that book, and worse suffering the constant sleazy gaze Templar Carroll, who seemed to always be on library duty, at 18 Carroll was 2 years older than Neve, and it would seem he'd noticed her blossoming into a young woman, she could feel his eyes follow her when ever she was near by, so a week of library duty meant a week of creepy Carroll.

"Sorry Senior enchanter it wont happen again"

"After a week in the library i should hope not, i want you all to finish reading the chapter on entropic magic and write me a 1000 essay on how Entropic magic and its importance, Miss Amell i shall see you in the library after super"

The room emptied, Neve collected her things and followed her fellow apprentices towards their quarters, that's when she spotted him, a new Templar recruit, he looked to be of an age with Carroll, he was tall with sandy red hair, handsome, well for a Templar, without realising she's was no longer walking with the crowd, she had come to a complete stand still in the middle of the hall, staring,

"AMELL, will you not stand in the middle of the hall"

"Sorry Gregoir i was just... thinking"

"yes well I'm sure you can find better places to think, I've been informed that your on library duties this evening, come with me"

Neve followed as the Knight commander walked over to the new recruit, an anxious feeling crept into her stomach, she hoped this new recruit hadn't caught her staring as Gregoir had,

"Cullen, this is Neve Amell, an apprentice mage who has been with us here at the circle for the past 10 years, she will be on library duties this evening as well, although seemingly lacking in focus of late she is an honest and capable girl who I'm sure will be able to aid you in finding the books i have asked you to read"

Cullen smiled and nodded at Neve but never said a word, Neve returned his smile and shifted from one foot to the other.

"that will be all Neve, you had best return to you dorm, the supper bell will ring soon and from what i hear you may have a busy evening ahead of you"

"yes knight commander, i shall see you later this evening Cullen"

"ye..ye..yes...i shall se..see you this evening"

Neve watched as they walked away, taking a deep breath she continued to her dorm room, where she collapsed on her bed books and all and closed her eyes.

She had only had her eyes closed for what seemed like a minute when Jowen, her best friend appeared above her, shaking her frantically,

"NEVE...NEVE, wake up your going to be late, you've missed super, Wynne will be after you if you don't head down to the library now"

She sat bolt upright, dazed, surely she had only rested her eyes for a moment, she glanced to the window, darkness, she must of drifted off and now she had missed super and was dangerously close to being late for the evening library duties. She jumped up, straightened out her robes and ran from the room, shouting her thanks to Jowen over her shoulder, she had lost count of the number of times that boy had saved her skin, not only from situations like this but also from the moments she found herself alone with creepy Carroll.  
She reached the door of the library with mere seconds to spare, greeted by Senior enchanter Wynne.

"your cutting it awfully fine this evening miss Amell, two minutes later and i would of had to come looking for you, and do straighten your hair out, you look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards"

In the rush to get to the library after falling asleep she had completely forgotten that her hair would likely be a mess, unruley at the best of times her long crimson red hair looked tangled and messy coming out of the bun she had placed it in when waking that morning, she pulled the band holding the remainder of the bun in place out allowing her hair to fall down her back, it was almost long enough for her to sit on and beautiful when brushed out,

"it's an unusual shade of red"

a voice said from behind her, she spun and came face to face with Cullen, the new Templar recruit,  
"is..is it..natural, th..the color"

"we're not sure, it's like no hair color anyone else has seen, but it was this color the day they found me and hasn't faded since, so i would say yes"

"it's Ve..very beautiful" Cullen stammered giving her a goofy smile

"Thank you" Neve returned the smile, thinking to herself, that maybe not all Templars where that bad.


	3. Chapter 2

Cullen would often keep to himself, engaging in short conversations with his fellow Templars, he would often be seen patrolling around the main library and the corridors outside the apprentice quarters, as most newly knighted Templars did, the apprentices, most still novices with their talents made the transition from training into full circle life that bit easier, his appearance was always focused, watching, not in the same way the other Templars would watch, some, would have a creepy uneasy stare about them, leering with a smug sense of satisfaction, brought on by the knowledge that for all the power a mage may have, the Templars, with their training, can still strike them down, others would look upon the mages with pure hatred and disgust, he had a softness about him, an almost sympathetic look in his eyes.

He would often find himself looking at the apprentices and feeling a pang of sadness for the young men, women and elves, cooped up in the tower, and for what, being born different, after all, magic is not something you ask for, you don't wake one morning and decide you want to become a mage, it is part of you, and for that these young apprentices will never get to experience normality, such as it is, they're taken from their families and brought circles like this one, where they are taught to control their magic, to use it safely, after all, he would remind himself, despite there being many innocent, good, kind hearted people in the circle, there were always those who turned to forbidden arts, to blood magic, those who used their skills for evil deeds, many under the guise that they are doing it for their fellow mages, for freedom, others simply because the corruption of demons from the fade was too much for them to fight.

He had found over the last few months however, that his gaze would linger on one particular mage, the young girl he'd met on his first night in the tower, Neve, he would often catch himself admiring her waist length crimson hair, and smiling to himself on the occasions that he would catch a glimpse of her Amber eyes, they reminded him of pools late autumn sunshine, bright and filled with warmth.

It was no different one evening in late summer, the apprentices had been split into separate groups, depending on which school of magic their talent seemed to fall into, spirit, creation, entropic and primal, all can master the basics of each school but most mages excel in at least one in particular. Each group were set in different sections of the main library and assigned two Templars to watch over the young apprentices as the senior enchanter shows the young men and women how to master their skills.

Cullen, found he moved between two different schools, Spirit and Creation, he always had an uneasy feeling watching over those learning the skills of spirit magic, the ability to render an enemy helpless within a crushing prison or animate the dead gave him an uneasy feeling, creation magic however, he could watch over the young men and women mastering the skill of creation magic from dawn until dusk, he found the art of casting glyphs, enchantments and healing spells fascinating. Of course that was not the only reason, Neve had shown great skill with creation magic, her ability to heal and rejuvenate was second to none for an apprentice, her natural caring manner made the spells she cast seem effortless, she would no doubt go on to specialise in spirit healing.

This was one of those evenings, he was overseeing the creation magic lesson, trying his best not to focus too much of his attention on Neve, the last thing he wanted was for her to notice that he was watching her more closely than the others, he didn't want her to think he was just another lecherous Templar who saw these mages as nothing more than something to control and abuse, no, he wanted to be respected, not feared, by all the mages under his watch and protection, but he particularly didn't want Neve thinking ill of him.

As he scanned the room, still allowing his eyes to rest upon Neve for a little longer than necessary, he became aware of someone standing just behind him, glancing over his shoulder he noticed his fellow guard for the evening had arrived, Carroll, he wasn't quite sure what to make of Carroll, he was a capable Templar, he also seemed to share a similar view as Cullen in regards to the Mages, however, he was maybe six months older than Cullen, but showed the attitude of a young man not bound by the vows taken by the Templars, he had be reprimanded on several occasions for making lewd and inappropriate comments towards the young female mages, and although it hadn't happened yet, Cullen often wondered how long it would be until he went too far

"Now that is an impressive set of curves" Carroll observed, following Cullen's gaze "nothing beats a women with a bit of meat on her bones"

Cullen silently agreed, she did possess a curvy body, an ample chest, full hips, she was by no means over weight but she certainly wasn't slight, "built for comfort not for speed" was the phrase he had overheard her saying to a group of young male apprentices who had felt the need to bring her size to her attention.

"They're like desire demons in the sack, all kin…."

"Shouldn't you be on the other side of the library" Cullen interrupted, he hated the way Carroll would talk about Neve, about any female mage "and I wouldn't go boasting an extensive knowledge of what Desire demons are like in the sack if I were you"

"Oh you know what I mean" he retorted with a laugh "but you're right, I should be over there, I'll get a much better view of that backside from over there"

Before Cullen could stop him Carroll had mover from his side and positioned himself directly behind Neve, just as she had leaned over the table to help a fellow apprentice.

He could see him leering at her and felt a sense of rage bubble up in the pit of his stomach, the urge to remove his gauntlet and launch it at his smug face was almost too much, but he managed to restrain himself, enough was enough, this wasn't the first time Carroll had spoken about her in that manner, something had to be done, how long would it be until those looks became something more, something physical, he had to protect her, he had to protect his Neve.


	4. Chapter 3

Cullen was waiting outside Knight commander Greagoir's office, he had been summoned just as his duties in the library had ended, he was unsure of the reason that the Knight commander wished to see him about, however this gave the perfect opportunity to express his concern over Carroll's attitude towards Neve, no not just to Neve, to all the female apprentices, he did not want to be seen as being jealous by just mentioning Neve, he was mid thought on how to broach this subject when the heavy wooden door to the office opened and he was called inside.

He entered the room to find the Knight-Commander seated behind his desk, then noticed the First Enchanter Irving holding the door open for him,

"Cullen, take a seat" Greagoir motioned toward an empty chair place just in front of his desk.

Once he was seated Irving moved around the room positioning himself just behind the Knight Commander.

"You are no doubt curious as to why we have asked you here" Greagoir begun, Cullen nodded in agreement.

"We've been hearing good things about you Cullen, and not just from your Templar colleagues, but from the apprentices and senior enchanters as well, it would seem you've earned their trust and respect, impressive, considering the short amount of time you've been with us in Kinloch Hold"

"Thank you Knight Commander"

"I am therefore promoting you to Knight Corporal, your duties shall now be carried out on the second floor, and you shall finish the week as you are with your first official duty being in 6 night's time, Irving!"

"Yes, well done young man, your first duty in your new position is to attend one of our apprentices Harrowing, the identity of the apprentice will be revealed to you shortly before you are required to collect them from their dormitory and escort them to the Harrowing chamber, when in the chamber your task is to watch as the apprentice is sent into the fade, whilst there they will become vulnerable to temptation, if the apprentice is unable to resist this temptation they will be possessed by the demon in a plot to cross from the fade and into our world, if that happens, you must not hesitate to put the apprentice down, it is vital that the demon has no opportunity to overpower those in the chamber and be let free to roam the tower, this task is assigned to you, and you alone, it will be your duty to deal with the apprentice if they fail, you cannot falter, is this clear Knight corporal?"

"Yes First Enchanter, I understand, I shan't let you down" he replied, still slightly shell shocked by the sudden promotion.

"Excellent, congratulations again Knight Corporal, may the maker watch over you" with that Irving gave him a warm smile "with I shall bid you both good night" and made his way to the door and returned to his own office.

"Well done, Knight Corporal, I see great things in your future, continue to stay focused and as disciplined as you are and who knows you may even have my job one day" chuckled Greagoir in a rare moment of joviality,

"If I may, Sir, there was a concern I wished to raise with you"

"Oh, and what may that be?"

"We...well sir" he began nervously "I do not wish to overstep my bounds, however I am deeply concerned with the attitude displayed by one of my colleagues"

"And what kind of attitude is this?"

"Well, Sir, you see, well it's one of a complete disregard and lack of respect towards the female mages, I fear that what may be just mere comments now may soon turn into something of a more physical nature"

"Ah yes would this particular colleague be Carroll, by any chance"

"Er, well, yes, sir, how did, I mean am I not the only one to of noticed"

"We have been keeping a close eye on him after his last, indiscretion, and although that was not entirely his doing it did raise questions as to his conduct around the female apprentices, it would also seem that one of the young girls had had quite enough of his roaming eye and expressed her concerns to me, it was something I was meaning to speak with you about as she seemed to think you had witnessed behaviour that would has led to her feeling uncomfortable"

"Oh, may I ask who the young apprentice was sir, to verify their story"

"It was Miss Amell, she's a trustworthy sort, still, knowing that apprentices have fabricated stories in the past I felt I needed to confirm that what she had told me was accurate"

"I see, well, I have noticed of late that his attention has been rather specific towards, Ne.. eh I mean Miss Amell, and some of the comments made have been less than gentlemanly"

"Is there not a chance that she encourages him at all?"

"Absolutely not sir, most of my duties have been to guard the classes in which she attends, she stands out due to her extensive skill, she is focused in her studies, and I have seen no behaviour from her that would entice anyone into making such inappropriate comments towards her"

The Knight-Commander stared at Cullen for a time, Cullen held his breath, had he said too much, had he given away that his opinion of Neve was not just of platonic nature, he looked back at the Commander trying to remain calm.

"I thought as much, thank you, Corporal, your input has been most helpful, you may return to your quarters"

"Yes Knight Commander, Thank you sir"

With that he left the office and made his way back to the Templar quarters, it had been a long day and he now wanted nothing more than to just collapse into bed. And that's just what he did, within minutes of walking through his door he had removed his armour and fallen backwards onto his bed in just his trousers, he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples allowing the events of the last hour to sink in, when suddenly a thought crossed his mind, he sat bolt upright on his bed, Neve had pointed him out specifically to the Knight Commander, does this mean she's noticed him watching her? Does she think him as bad as Carroll? No surely not, he wouldn't have been promoted, Greagoir would have raised the issue, what did she think of him? He wasn't going to be able to rest until he had some idea, he rose from his bed, pulled a tunic over his head and made his way towards the apprentice quarters, being off duty he wasn't required to wear his uniform and although off duty Templars seldom ventured towards the apprentice quarters it was not unheard of with the library being so close.

He headed towards the library, Neve was a keen reader and he had often seen her sat right up until curfew, lost in book after book, some to help with her studies, others to help her get lost in imagination, he was just passing the girls dormitory when he heard a male voice coming from inside, it was still an hour before curfew, and the young men and women were not prohibited from going into the others dormitory to talk with their friends, however this voice mentioned his name.

"Are you sure Cullen would back you up? He is a Templar after all"

"He's not like the others, and you know he's not"

"I still don't get how you can be so sure"

"It's his eyes, you can tell just by the way he looks at me, I mean us, as in the apprentices"

Cullen peered round the door, just enough to catch a glimpse of the two apprentices talking, he knew Neves voice without needing to see her, the male voice belonged to her best friend, Jowen, there was something about that boy that Cullen didn't quite like, something more than just his friendship with Neve,

"I think its wishful thinking on your part, you just think he's dreamy" Jowen teased

"What no, don't be silly, he's a Templar, I can't think he's dreamy"

"Of course you can, he's a man as well as a Templar, and even I think he's dreamy" a third voice chimed in a third voice

"Oh be quiet Anders, haven't you got some unsuspecting girl to charm"

"Ha indeed I do, so many beautiful women so little time, so if you don't mind I shall leave you to continue with your denial"

The sound of footsteps became louder as Anders headed towards the door that Cullen was stood just outside of, panic almost took over freezing Cullen to the spot, he gathered his senses just in time to dash behind a statue a few feet away. He waited until Anders had walked past, then returned to his position outside the dormitory door.

"You know Neve, there's nothing wrong with finding him attractive"

"Who Anders, are you kidding"

"No, not that idiot, Cullen"

"Jowen, enough, if someone hears you going on about it you could get me into a world of trouble, can you imagine what the Templars would do, just drop it"

"Fine, we'll change the subject, but remember there's nothing wrong with it"

"Yes, ok, fine, now, how are your primal studies going?"

Cullen released the breath he had been holding since returning to the door way, relieved at what he had overheard. He turned and begun to make his way back to the Templar quarters, he had not walked far before he heard a commotion ahead, shouting and heavy footsteps.

"Where is she, the little whore, where is she"

Cullen came face to face with an angry and slightly intoxicated Carroll

"OI Cullen, have you seen her, ha...have you seen that stupid magey bitch"

"Are you mad? Do you think Greagoir is going to be impressed if he catches you in this state?"

By this point a crowd had begun to gather, Cullen looked over his shoulder, he had spotted Neve behind a few other mages, a distressed look on her face.

"I don't give a rats arse what that old goat thinks, reassigned to dock duties, because apparently I can't be trusted"

"Well what did you do?"

"Nothing, I just offered to help her with her studies, she'll be a spirit healer you know, so I offered to help her study the male form, stupid bitch thinks she's better than me, she's nothing they're all nothing, the unnatural spawn of demons that's what they are"

That last remark was greeted with a sharp right hook to the nose, sending Carroll to the ground, the crowd that had been full of whispers was now eerily silent, Cullen looked around

"I suggest you all return to your dormitories, it's almost curfew, there's nothing more to see here"

His eyes locked with Neves as he scanned the now dispersing crowd, she smiled at him, nodding her thanks, knowing that it had been her that Carroll had been looking for, she turned and returned to her room.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day was filled with whisperings and gossip, almost all the Templars knew who Carroll had been looking for the previous night, he had been shouting about her all the way back from the Spoiled Princess right up until Cullen's fist silenced him, the apprentices all had some idea, but no actual confirmation, Neve said nothing about it, carrying on with her studies as if the incident hadn't even occurred, the last thing she wanted was to be the centre of attention, she hated it, she was fussed over so much when they brought her to the tower that attention from more than a handful of people at a time makes her feel surrounded, enclosed, it often makes her feel like the scared little girl too afraid to leave the cupboard all those years ago.

As the days passed a new rumour surfaced, a Harrowing, word had got out that one of the young apprentices were due to be called, there were a number of apprentices who had proved themselves ready, Neve included.

"It's bound to be you, let's be honest, who else do we really know that is ready" Jowen argued having heard Neves name mentioned in passing,

"Anders is very capable, ok he's a pain, and a dreadful flirt but you can't deny that he's very capable with his magic"

"I suppose your right, I just can't help but feel it's your time" his voice went quiet, saying that last sentence almost as a whisper

"What's bothering you Jowen"

"Well, it's just, when you go for your Harrowing, I'll be stuck here, on my own, your my best friend, who else can I go to"

"You make it sound like you'll never see me again, I feel confidant, I will pass my harrowing, and your time will come soon, it will be just a matter a weeks and you'll be joining me, just imagine how much more we'll learn, the extra libraries, it will all be fine, you'll see" Neve gave her friend a warm smile, she hated seeing him so dejected, she could see the worry on his face, he wasn't the most gifted of apprentices, in fact he often struggled, she knew deep down that he was terrified of being made tranquil, if he couldn't learn to master his gifts then that would be his fate, that or they would call him for his Harrowing and he would fail, the thought saddened her, but she had to stay positive, maybe if just one person believed in Jowen he'd make it.

"Well, I should go to bed, it's nearly curfew, I swear since that idiot shouted his mouth off the Templars are extra techy, I'll see you in the morning" Jowen got up and left, just as the rest of the girls who shared Neve's Dorm returned.

Neve settled herself under her covers, blew out the candle next to her bed and closed her eyes.

It was about an hour later when Neve was woken by someone lightly shaking her, she opened her eyes and saw a blurred figure crouched beside her bed,

"Wake up my dear, it's time" the figure whispered

Neve rubbed her eyes and allowed them to adjust to the darkness allowing the figure to come into focus,

"Wynne, what's going on is everyth…."

"Shush my dear, you don't want to wake the others, get changed, the Templars are waiting for you just outside the door"

Neve sat upright in bed, confused at first, it then sunk in, Jowen was right it was her, she was about to face her Harrowing.

"Come on now dear you need to get a move on"

"Wynne, will you be there, will you be coming with me"

"I'm afraid not my dear, I felt it more appropriate that I wake you as opposed to one of the Templars, what with everything that's gone on over the last few days" Wynne replied, handing Neve her robes.

"Oh, right, Wynne what if I don't, I mean what if I fail" Neve asked, taking her robes and rising from her bed, moving towards the changing screen.

"Have faith, we wouldn't ask you to go through this if we didn't feel you were ready" Wynne smiled, for all her strictness she had a certain maternal warmth that put Neves mind at rest, for the time being anyway.

She removed her bed garments, and dressed in the breast band and robes Wynne had passed to her, smoothing down the wrinkles in her robes as she made her way towards the door where Wynne was waiting for her, she took a deep breath and stepped into the cool corridor.

Waiting for her were two Templars, She didn't recognise one, he must have been Carrolls replacement, the other was Cullen, she stopped for a moment, Cullen was going to be at her Harrowing, a moment of panic washed over her, she couldn't do it, not with him there, she couldn't fail in front of Cullen, then, just as quickly as the feeling of panic had set in it was gone, replaced by a wave of calm, she looked up at him and smiled, his expression remained neutral, he simply nodded, and turned, she looked at Wynne who simply nodded and smiled, it was her queue to follow.

The walk to the Harrowing chamber seemed to take hours, Neve followed Cullen, hands clasped in front of her, her breathing steady, spells and enchantments swimming round her head, this was it, she had no idea what she would face once in the chamber, all she knew was some who had gone before her, had not returned.

They reached the bottom of the stairs leading up into Harrowing chamber at the very top of the tower, Neve looked up after Cullen as he ascended the stairs towards the solid oak door at the top, she stood, frozen to the spot, self-doubt taking over her thoughts, she could hear the blood pumping through her body at a much faster pace than usual, Cullen turned and looked down upon the young apprentice, her Amber eyes filled with worry, he walked down the stairs towards her place a hand on her shoulder, looked into her eyes, gave her the smallest of smiles, and whispered

"You can do this" he reassured, giving her shoulder a squeeze before turning and making his way back up the stairs.

That moment gave her the push she needed, he had faith in her, he believed she could do it, she took a deep breath and followed him up the stairs.


	6. Chapter 5

Neve entered the chamber, Cullen crossed the room and stood just behind Knight Commander Greagoir who, along with the first enchanter Irving was waiting for her arrival, a font, much like the summoning font in the main library stood in the centre of the chamber the haunting blue glow of Lyrium surrounding it.

She stood there, the nerves building up inside her, the 3 Templars and First enchanter looking at her, then after what seemed like an age Greagoir stepped forward.

"Magic exists to serve man. And never to rule over him, thus spoke the profit Andraste as she cast down the Tevinter Imperium, ruled by mages who had brought the world to the edge of ruin, your magic is a gift, but it is also a curse for demons of the dream world – the fade, are drawn to you, and see you as a gateway into this world"

Irving took his place by Greagoirs side

"This is why the Harrowing exists, the ritual sends you into the fade, and there you will face a demon, armed with only your will"

"Know this Miss Amell, if you should fail, the Templars will do their duty, you will die" the words sent a chill up her spine, she turned to look at Cullen, he was focused yet there was a hint of sadness in his dark brown eyes, she turned away just as Greagoir continued

"This is Lyrium, the very essence of magic and your gateway into the fade"

"The harrowing is kept secret out of necessity, Child, Every mage must go through this trial by fire. As we succeeded, so shall you"

Irving gently grabbed both of her shoulders, and looking firmly into the face of the young woman he had found as a child all those nights ago continued

"Keep your wits about you, remember the fade is a realm of dreams, ruled by spirits, but your will, your own will is real"

The moment of advice was not lost on Greagoir, he knew that Irving had a soft spot for the girl yet her Harrowing was to be the same as every mage who had come before her.

"Miss Amell must go through this test alone, First enchanter"

Irving nodded, and took a step away from Neve, Greagoir pointed to the font.

"You are ready"

Neve inhaled deeply, then raising her head she approached the font, confidant to those in the chamber, inside scared, she reached her hand over the font and in a flash of blinding light entered the fade.

It took a few minutes for Neve to gather her senses and focus on her new surroundings, the fade, sepia tinged with twisted structures, and crumbling pillars, the fade was an eerie place, whispers echoed through the landscape, and a chill ran up her spine, however she moved forward, slowly placing one foot in front of the other, she spotted an unbroken vase to her left and hesitantly peered inside, she reached inside and pulled out a poultice, she placed it in the pouch of her robes and continued on slowly, she had barely moved 10 feet when she saw a bright glowing orb just ahead of her, she paused, identifying what it was in front of her in the near distance, a wisp Wraith, before she had time to react a bolt of electricity danced toward her, she darted to one side but not before bolt grazed her arm, a burning searing pain shot up her right arm, she winced but focused enough to cast winters grasp, freezing the wisp before firing an arcane bolt destroying it. She returned her attention to her arm, pulling out the poultice she had found relieved to find it was a mix of herbs specifically designed for healing, she applied the mix and used a strip of fabric from her under skirt to bandage it.

The relief was instant and soothing, and within minutes Neve was back on her feet and continuing on the path ahead, the test so far seemed, somewhat simpler to what she had expected, aside from a few more wisps she had not encountered another thing, spirit or other, she continued on then stopped suddenly, a noise, an unfamiliar noise, a low pitch growl, she turned on the spot when there, a few feet away stood a dark sinister creature, a spirit wolf, it let out a spine chilling howl the charged toward Neve, he wits being more about her than with her first encounter in the fade she side stepped casting another winters grasp freezing the creature where it stood, shattering it with a closely followed arcane bolt, only to be knocked to the ground by another wolf that had circled from a distance and lunged at the first opportune moment, she regained her composure quickly however and using her now tried and tested combination of spells, destroyed the second wolf too.

As Neve caught her breath she noticed a light just off to one side, a glow, she approached cautious, a spirit, behind the spirit a weapons rack, then the spirit spoke

"Your mages have devised a cowardly test. Better you were pitted against each other to prove your mettle with skill, than to be sent unarmed against a demon."

"Excuse me, Fight each other? We're mages, not warriors"

"They have you battle a demon. With magic or weapon, to be the victor makes you a warrior still. That you remain means you have not yet defeated your hunter, I wish you glory in the battle ahead"

"What kind of spirit are you?" Neve asked, now curious as to whether this was in fact the demon she was sent to defeat.

"I am a warrior spirit, a spirit of Valour, I hone my weapons in search of the perfect expression of combat"

"Did you create all those weapons yourself?" she asked, motioning to the rack of weapon behind the spirit

"Indeed I did, these are not blades of steel, the staves are not wood, do you think they draw blood?"

"Would one of your weapons help me" Neve dared to ask, a little more convince that this was not her hunter

"Do you truly desire one of my weapons? I shall give you one of my weapons, on the condition you agree to a duel, Valour shall test your mettle as it should be tested"

The proposition made Neve nervous, this was a true warrior, she was an apprentice, how was she fight a clearly skilled warrior, she was thinking quickly when before she knew it

"And what are the rules of this duel" she couldn't believe she was even contemplating this

"If during our duel I deem you worthy and capable of slaying the demon, then I shall stop the duel and award you with this staff, if I deem you unworthy then I will kill you"

Surely there was another way, all she had to do was think, the sound of her blood pumping round her head was making thinking difficult and before she knew what she was doing

"I agree to your duel spirit" did she really just say that, her heart was racing.

"Very well mortal, are you clear on the rules as described to you"

"I understand"

"Very well, fight with Valour"

With that the spirit drew his blade, Neve thinking fast used her mind blast ability temporarily stunning the spirit, allowing her time to move a distance away, then firing an arcane bolt and casting winters grasp in quick succession she moved her position again, she prepared to fire another arcane bolt as the effects of the winters grasp wore off, when she noticed the spirit raise a hand, surely it wasn't over already,

"Enough, your strength is sufficient to the task at hand, the staff is yours" he handed her the staff

"Thank you spirit"

"May you find glory in all your achievements Mortal!"

With that the spirit, and his weapons faded, Neve was once again alone, or at least she thought she was,

"It isn't right that they do this, the Templars, not to you, not to me"

Neve spun around on the spot she couldn't see anyone but the voice was as clear as day, she hadn't imagined it.

"You think you're really here, in that body, but your appearance is as you think it is"

The voice was not coming from the same level as her, it was, lower, she glanced down and saw a large brown mouse, the mouse sighed, before continuing

"It's always been the same, after all you're in the same boat I was, aren't you?" with that the mouse transformed into a man, older than Neve, with a look of exhaustion,

"Allow me to welcome you to the fade, I had been trying to get your attention for a little while, and then you began speaking with the spirit, you can call me….well….mouse I guess"

"How did you, I mean, you can change shape?"

"As I said this is the fade, here you are what you perceive, I think I used to be like you, once, you see, the Templars, they will kill you if you take too long, they assume you have failed, they don't want to risk something getting out"

"Is that what happened to you?" Neve asked, there was something unsettling about this mouse,

"I think it is, I now have no body to reclaim, and you do not have much time before the same happens to you"

"Then I had best get on then"

"I could help you, there are other spirits you know, and not all like the spirit of valour, I will follow, if that's alright, my chance was long ago, but you, you may still have a way out" with that Mouse transformed back into a mouse, waiting for Neve to continue.

It would seem she had no choice, there was something she did not trust, but it was company, she would just have to keep an eye on her companion.


	7. Chapter 6

The two of them continued through the fade, mouse asking questions about the tower, how it was now, seemingly harmless questions, but something still did not sit right with Neve, so she answered the questions as vaguely as she could, skipping on any specific details.

They continued to walk along, when mouse suddenly stopped, his ears pricking up,

"There's another spirit ahead, it's not your demon, it could help" with that mouse went bounding of ahead,

Neve was unsure as to whether she should follow, what if this was a trap, on the other hand what if mouse was right, what if the spirit could help. She followed the mouse, what did she have to lose, if what mouse said was true she was running out of time. She turned what can only be described as a corner and caught up with mouse, there she saw what must have been the spirit, all though it looked more like a bear of nightmares, large fang like tusks, lengthy sharp prickles protruding from its back and claw like paws that could easily take someone's head clean off their body.

"hmmmm….soooo….you are the human being hunted, and what's this, have you brought me a snack?" the spirit drawled, slow and lazy, as if speech was a task in itself.

Mouse transformed back into his human form, hoping the increase in size would change the spirits mind about him being a snack.

"I don't like this, I don't think he's going to help us, I think we should get going"

"What it was your idea to come to this spot"

"The demon will get you eventually, perhaps I will be lucky, and there will be scraps left" The spirit continued, rising to its feet.

"Just what kind of spirit are you exactly?" Neve asked

"I was wrong, this is no spirit, it's a demon, a powerful one, maybe more powerful than the one hunting you!" mouse whispered

"Be gone! Surely you have more pressing matters to deal with, instead of questioning sloth, I tire of you already!" the demon slumped back down to the ground.

"Why did you call yourself sloth?"

"I am a spirit of sloth, a creature of the fade, you mortals are ever just visitors here, yet you serve your function, it is only mortals such as yourself who are truly annoying"

"What do you mean? Mortals like me" Neve questioned

"You have an awareness, a mortal with power and will, some creatures…hunger…for that kind of creature, in fact I could well partake in such a meal myself, to see the world through your eyes would truly be interesting…however I am disinclined to begin such a struggle"

"Well aren't I lucky" Neve couldn't resist the sarcastic reply, "you've mentioned the demon hunting me, can you offer me any help?"

"You have a staff, what would you need my help for?" yawned the demon

"Maybe he could teach you to be like him?" Mouse offered

"Like me? Why would I do that exactly, you mortals are far too attached to your own forms, but you little one, it has been many years since you let go of your human form, you would be a better student"

"Oh I, I don't think I would be a very good bear, where would I hide?"

"You could help me fight the Demon" Neve offered "Hiding solves nothing, we need to face our fears"

"I'm sorry, it's the fade, it changes you, but you're right, if you will teach me sloth, I will learn"

"Hhmmf, but it's so exhausting, no I think I shall rest, away with you" the demon retorted.

"I told you he wasn't going to help us" Mouse sighed, a hint of disappointment in his voice

"No, mouse wants to learn, teach him, why say something that you have no intention of doing?" Neve stated, her mood becoming slightly more agitated

"Very well, answer these three riddles and I shall teach your mouse my form, if you fail, I shall eat to both"

"I accept your challenge Sloth" she had always been fairly good with riddles, and confidant that she could outwit this demon.

"Hmmm, well this is getting more promising, Very well mortal, here is my first riddle: I have seas with no water, coasts with no sand, towns without people, Mountains without land, What am i?"

Neve thought for a moment quickly repeating the riddle in her head

"That's easy, A Map" she could feel a small smile creep across her face

"Correct, let's move on, my second riddle: I'm rarely touched, but often held, you'll use me well, what am I?"

There was a hint of smugness in the demons voice as he finished this riddle, he obviously felt this riddle to be more difficult than the previous, the smugness was short lived however,

"My Tongue" Neve answered the smile on her face growing.

"Yes, yes your witty tongue" the demons voice becoming more agitated as the thought that he may not actually fool this mortal danced in his head.

"My final riddle, mortal: Often I will spin a tale, never will I charge a fee, I'll amuse you for an entire eve, but, alas, you won't remember me. What am I?"

The smile on Neves face begun to fade, the riddle replayed over and over in her head, she turned to face mouse, his face expressionless, she looked back at the demon there was a twinkle in his eyes, if that is possible, she was going to fail, she'd often dreamed of her future in the tower, it was all going to come to an end, and she hadn't even faced her final test, suddenly she raised her head the smile creepy back on her face

"A Dream, the answer is a dream"

"Yes, aren't you a clever mortal, very well, you have won my challenge, listen very carefully small one and I shall teach you my form"

Mouse moved towards the demon, leaning in as sloth shared the secrets of his form, after listening intently mouse moved away from the demon, and repeated the words and motions told to him by sloth, and just as he had changed from mouse to human he transformed in front of Neves eyes into a bear, a somewhat friendlier bear, there were no prickles, no fang like tusks and smaller less razor like claws on his paws, but a bear still,

"Can you see me, I'm a bear" He beamed looking at Neve with his now much bigger eyes

"There, I have taught, now, be gone and leave me in peace" Sloth yawned resting his head on his paws that were stretched out in front of him.

Neve didn't need to be told twice, she motioned to mouse, turned on her heels and quickly walked away before the demon decided he was going to have a snack anyway, mouse came bounding after her somewhat unsure in his newly learned form.

She began to feel anxious, she had already been in the fade for a long time, yet still no sign of her challenge, she had encountered a spirit, outwitted a sloth demon, yet neither, were her quarry, was this some sort of cruel trick, were mages sent into the fade under the guise of the harrowing purely to get rid of them, leave them wandering for such a time that they could be slaughtered for taking so long, surely no, Irving wouldn't allow it, and Greagoir, although a Templar, is not a cruel man, her mind spun each argument around her head, over and over, suddenly a strange feeling washed over her, an uneasy feeling, she could feel something drawing her towards a clearing she had passed just before she had encountered the spirit of valour, she walked toward the centre of the clearing, stood there silently for a few moments, she turned to face mouse and there stood between the two of them, a towering inferno of demonic power, a rage demon, this was it, the moment she had been sent into the fade for, without allowing the demon to speak Neve raised up her staff and swiftly began casting spells, the demon enraged summoned wisps hoping to encircle Neve, but mouse, in his new bear form bounded toward them, destroying them before they could attack Neve, the battle ensued for what seemed like an eternity when a final winters grasp destroyed the demon, leaving a charred patch where it had last been stood.

Neve fell to her knees leaned forward and vomited, the battle was not what she expected, not that she had expected it to be easy, she felt drained, she sat back, resting on her feet and cried, tears of joy, relief, exhaustion, she felt a hand rest on her shoulder and sensed mouse, now in his human form crouch down just behind her,

"You did it, you really did it, now you can save us both" he whispered in her ear

She remained silent for a moment, having almost not heard what mouse had said

"It's ok, I can tell you know how we can escape, you are powerful, You can release us both from this hell"

"What? What do you mean save us both" she questioned "you said yourself you have no mortal body to return to, how could you be saved"

"You could help me, between the two of us you could free me"

Neve got to her feet, she turned to face mouse, there was a look of eagerness on his face, a glint of mischief in his eye, it dawned on her then,

"That demon wasn't my test was, it?"

"What do you mean my friend"

"That demon wasn't the demon I was meant to defeat was it, I mean, I know I didn't give it much of a chance but didn't try to talk to me, didn't try to corrupt me, it just fought"

"I don't understand, of course that was your challenge, I helped you, mow it is your turn to help me"

"Help, escaping the fade, it's you isn't it, your my challenge, you've helped me, gave me some sob story, pretended you knew what I was going through. And all so I would trust you and release you into the tower, Never, I would sooner die"

With that mouses face twisted, and contorted, he grew in height towering above Neve, his appearance now grotesque,

"Keep your wits about you mage, True tests never end"

With that everything went black.


	8. Chapter 7

Cullen was carrying Neves seemingly lifeless body back to her dormitory, it had taken every ounce of self-control not to run to her side as she gasped loudly and collapsed back onto the floor where she had lay whilst in the fade. Irving and Greagoir went to her side, Cullen gripped his sword firmly ready to unsheathe it if the worst had happened, a nod and a smile from Irving and Greagoir sent a wave of relief washing over him, he released the breath he had unknowingly been holding and released his grip.

"She did it, I knew she would" Beamed Irving, his fatherly affection for the young woman laying before him becoming evident again.

"Yes, she did" Replied Greagoir a hint of relief in his voice, for he too had a sense of affection for Neve, he was, after all with Irving the night she was found and brought to the tower, an affection that had to be kept to himself, an affection that not even Irving knew existed.

"Sir Cullen, would you please carry Miss Amell back to her current quarters in the apprentices' dormitory, it will serve her better to wake in familiar surroundings" The knight commander ordered

Cullen nodded, walked over to Neve and lifted her in his arms, her arms limp, her head tilted back, Cullen was unsure whether leaning her into him would raise questions, a thought that was answered by the first enchanter walking toward him and positioning Neve more comfortably in his arms leaving her head cradled against his chest and her arms delicately folded over her own chest.

With a nod to take his leave Cullen began to make his way through the tower and down to the ground floor, it was a walk that shouldn't really of taken very long, but Cullen found himself walking at a much slower pace than usual, partly so as not to wake the woman cradled and sleeping into his chest, but the feel of Neve in his arms sent a tingle up his spine, a warmth ran through him, a feeling he didn't really want to end, but one that inevitably had to, he reached her dormitory door, a candle was still burning next to her bed, he made his way over, scanning the room to ensure none of the other apprentices had woken, her bed was still unmade, he lay her down carefully, she automatically rolled onto her side, facing Cullen, a lock of red hair had fallen over her face, Cullen pulled the woollen blanket over the sleeping mage, he crouched beside the bed and lightly brushed the rogue lock of hair from a face and behind her ear, his hand lingered then slowly caressed the curve of her cheek, she let out a slight sigh, the corners of her mouth turning up into what looked like a slight smile, despite his position Cullen leant forward and place a light kiss on Neves forehead, unaware he was being watched from the doorway, he rose to his feet and began walking from the room, stopping just once to look back at the peaceful form of the mage that was slowing capturing his heart, he turned away eyes fixed to the ground, aware of the feelings rising within him, a twinge of guilt grew from the knowledge that it is forbidden, and an overwhelming wave of sadness at the fact that he would never be able to tell her, hold her, love her in the same way that those outside the tower could, he swallowed his anguish and left the room, just as one of his colleagues approached on his evening patrol,

"Sir Cullen, what brings you down here?"

"I was returning the mage back to her quarters after her Harrowing, another success, in fact it was cleaner than I could have imagined"

"Oh, I see, well that's good, I guess, I don't suppose you've seen a male apprentice running about have you? I just checked in on the dormitory and there appears to be a bed empty, I think it's the Amell girl's hopeless friend"

"Jowen? No I haven't, you return the direction you just came from, I'll check the library, and if he's around we'll soon find him"

"Yes sir, you know it's bad enough having to keep an extra eye on that Anders fellow, how that guy ever passed his Harrowing I'll never understand, and I still don't understand why on earth he would keep coming back down to the apprentice quarters" with that the Templar turned and headed in the direction he came from, still muttering of his distaste for the mage.

Cullen made his way to the library, exhausted, and after searching found nothing, he headed back toward the dormitory finding the Templar stationed outside the door.

"I don't know how he did it but he's back in his bed as if it had never been empty, I should of shown you, I can't exactly report it without proof can I?" the Templar grumbled

"Be thankful he's back in his bed and not causing trouble" Cullen gave him a tired smile, pleased that the Templar seemed to have a sense of honour about him "I think it's high time I returned to my own quarters and got some rest"

With that he returned to his own quarters, removed his armour, and climbed into his bed, completely oblivious to the fact that Jowen had seen the Knight Corporal kiss his best friend goodnight before sneaking back to his own bed.

Back in the male apprentice quarters Jowen lay in bed with his back to the door, his heart pounding, he had snuck away from his bed so many times over the last month, and this was the closest he had been to being caught, although after tonight sneaking out would prove much more difficult especially if that Templar now planted outside the door was on duty.

But it had been worth it, every night he had snuck out had been worth it, but tonight held an added bonus, the Templar shared Neves feelings, this was perfect for his plan, all he had to do was to get Neve and the Templar alone, if he could just get Neve to accept her feelings then he could finally put his plan into action.

* * *

In the game the time span between Amells harrowing and her meeting Duncan etc is immediate, the next few chapters will lengthen the time between the two.


	9. Chapter 8

Neve slowly opened her eyes, her vision hazy, she tried lifting her head but it felt heavy, her ears rang and the room began to spin, she rolled onto her side, breathing deeply to combat the wave of nausea that had just washed over her, it took a few moments for her to remember the previous night, to remember that she was no longer an apprentice, she had done it, she had passed her harrowing

"At least there's a good reason for feeling this crappy" she thought out loud

"Neve your awake, I was getting so worried about you, you've been asleep for hours"

"Jowen, what are you doing here" it was surely coming to midday, why wasn't Jowen in lessons she wondered sitting up in her bed.

"Seeing if my best friend is ok, I knew it was you that was going for the harrowing, I just knew it, I'm so glad you passed, what was it like? What did you have to do?" he asked, barely taking a breath.

"Jowen, you know I can't tell you, and slow down, your making my head spin again" she rubbed her temples

"You're not going to tell me anything, no little hints, but it could really help me, you know how much I struggle, you could help me improve, get better, then they won't make me…"

"Stop, stop right there, you will get better, have a little faith, you just need to focus, and relax, you know it's strictly forbidden for mages who have gone through the harrowing to speak of what they went through with apprentices, so as my friend, don't ask me again"

The hint of annoyance in her voice was not lost on Jowen, she was right of course, he worried too much in lessons, focused too much on what he could do wrong, if he could just relax,

"Your right, I'm sorry Neve, I'll come back in a little while, Irving asked me to help you pack up your things so that you can move up to the mages quarters, wont it be nice to have your own room" he gave he a small smile and left

Her own room, privacy, Neve smiled to herself, she hadn't had her own room since she was a little girl, before the night she was found, her smile faded, she had few memories from her childhood, her mother and fathers face were just blurs now, her mother had been pregnant, she was going to be a big sister, but it wasn't meant to be, a single tear rolled down her cheek before she composed herself and got out of bed, she made her way to the wash basins on the far side of the room and begun to peel off the robes she had spent the night in, there was a light knock on the door, startled she spun, grasping for the robes that she had slung over a nearby chair but relaxing when she had noticed it was Wynne entering the room,

"Well done my dear, I am so proud of you" she beamed "I have brought you a new set of robes to change in to, there are more in your room"

"Thank you Wynne, it all seems a bit surreal"

"I felt the same way after my Harrowing, it will take a few days to sink in, you will have 3 days to settle into your new room and new role, then the hard work starts, there will be no room for distraction anymore my dear, now is the time for you to master your talents, I've requested that you be placed under my guidance, your skills with creation magic are almost as well matched as Petra's, and she is a few years older than you, I think working closely with the two of us will help you master Spirit healing in no time"

"I'm nervous, what if I'm not as skilled as you all think"

"Nonsense, you will be fine, now get dressed I think your friend will return in a moment" Wynne gave her a light hug and left Neve to continue washing up.

She dressed and returned to her bed just as Jowen returned carrying two empty boxes

"Right where do you want to start" he smiled

The two of them began to pack up the contents of Neves dresser and bedside drawer, she didn't have many personal items from her time before the circle, but she had managed to accumulate a selection of books, mostly stories from the past, stories of witches, and heroines, stories she could get lost in.

The halls began to fill with the sound of footsteps, lessons were over for the day, the footsteps joined by the voices of her former roommates just outside the door

"I wonder if she's awake yet"

"Finn said he saw Jowen not long ago and that she's awake, and all ok"

"It's going to be strange not having her around as much, you don't think she'll ignore us now"

"No, it's not like her, I seriously doubt the harrowing would change her that much"

"You know apparently Sir Cullen said it was the cleanest Harrowing he had ever seen"

"Really? How many do you think he's seen?"

"I thought I overheard one of the Templars saying it was his first"

"Well let's be honest, Cullen would say it was the cleanest, we all know he has a soft spot for her, or hard spot shall we say" the group giggled as they moved further down the corridor and away from the door.

The last comment made Neve stop, she could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment, she looked up at Jowen, he gave her a cheeky smile and a wink, causing her cheeks to burn more fiercely, surely it wasn't true, she was a mage, he was a Templar, he's not allowed to think of her in that way, is he? The thought caused a stirring in the pit of her stomach, her heart began to beat a little bit faster, the feelings seemed to raise a level of excitement in Neve, was she happy at the thought of Cullen seeing her in that way? She pushed the thoughts to the back of her head, tossed the last few items into the box in front of her and got to her feet.

"Ok I think that's it, let's go" she picked up the box and headed to the door, Jowen close behind her and made her way towards the next floor, the start of the next chapter in her life.


End file.
